(no subject)

day seven million: "finished" my first two classes and oh my god, I have an extension for my last class.

if I didn't get a C in those first two classes I don't even know what I'm going to do.

exam for the last class is tomorrow, so mostly studying today & seeing if I can convert any of the studying into answers for undone homework.

still at D's house. she's at work. Mr. D is off today, keeping me quiet company at the table as he does his own laptop work.

I hate this, lol. please. please let me be done with all this. school is rotten and to write things down makes me feel awful.

(no subject)

in a truly remarkable example of On vs. Off Sarah, I just got done roughly 25% of the homework I wanted to do for this final class within the span of four hours. and one more assignment to I think push me over the threshhold to C for that class that I supposedly declared I was finished with this morning.

WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THIS WHEN I NEED IT TO ALL THE TIME

I think a very real feature of On is the fact that even when I'm resting, though, I'm not resting. Like my idle activities today are "do another crossword on my phone while mentally composing this email" or "plan how you're going to start attacking that next assignment based on what you already know from the class oh 6 down is RARER, duh, it's got to be an -er ending because the clue is 'more whatever' and I think I can just write that paper about formants in like ten minutes when I get back to the kitchen table, ok, E from RARER will be last letter of three letter word about alcohol ALE, got it, what the fuck is the first formant, L is ORALB what a cheap godddamn cop-out clue brand names shouldn't count they violate phonotactics have some pride."

I can't even begin to explain anything. except I probably need to walk and get more coffee, next time I'm in a considering/holding pattern part of the cycle.